You. You will never let me love you. As hard as I try, you just keep pushing me further and further and further away. What do I have to do? Tell me, if only so I know, once and for all.
That part of me is gone. I will not get him back. He can die and rot for all I care for he is useless and disgusting to live with.
How Can Heaven Love Me, 224 times…it is the sound of a woman screaming her heart out for 50 seconds that encompasses all your pain and frustration and betrayal.
Not going for prom.
When there's a shadow near, reach for the sun
When there is loving here, look for the one
And for the promises, there is the sky
And for the heavens are those who can fly
If you really want to, you can hear me say
Only if you want to will you find a way
If you really want to you can seize the day
Only if you want to will you fly away
When there's a journey to follow the star
When there's an ocean to sail to far
And for the broken hearts there is the sky
And for tomorrow are those who can fly
If you really want to, you can hear me say
Only if you want to will you find a way
If you really want to you can seize the day
Only if you want to will you fly away
This goes out to more than one person, and you know who you are. It’s all I really have to say. I can’t do much to help you, unless you want to help yourself. I hope you listen, but if you don’t want to, in the end, I can’t do anything.
Ultra pissed off today. Your antics are bloody ridiculous. Running around after guys. And you tell me, at 18 years old, you’re “sick of waiting for the right one to come along” ? Preposterous. Tell me that when you’re 80 and I’ll believe you. Run after them, you think you’re going to find the right one? Sickening and disgusting to hear this, at this time. At THIS time. And at THIS age, so bloody desperate.
Once the women get too old and have to leave, ABC can rename their show Desperate Teenagers. I definitely know a few who could qualify for starring roles.
Ask me for help then go to sleep. Smart. Next time try asking me when you’re actually going to bother to listen.
Idiots.
That’s what you are. And I’ve just about had enough of you.
You want me to be honest with you. Yet anything I say, you take offence. So I shut up. Then you ask me why I’m so quiet. Yet I can’t talk around you. And you tell me, I can’t take jokes. Hypocritical, much?
There is so much out there waiting for you. All you have to do is reach out and grab it. But right now, your arms are tightly folded and you aren’t letting up. Don’t know what to do with you. You ask me to help, I try, you refuse to help yourself.
I can’t do this forever. I can’t. I can’t be the one passing messages and trying to make your friends for you and trying to make you understand things better. Because you don’t want to. And if you don’t want to, I can try till I die (you’d like that very much, wouldn’t you?) and there’d be no effect. One day, I’ll have to let go. I don’t want to, but there will come a day when I absolutely cannot hold on any longer. I am trying to prevent it, but you really aren’t making it any easier. You’re doing quite the opposite. And if you just opened up, just a little, you’d realise things are so much better than you think.
But I can’t help you with that. Only you can. And I pray for the day you try.
People really need to watch what they say. Their absence of mind, their apathy, it just knocks me flat day after day. When they’re so blatantly ignorant of what they say, what they do, what they feel, it hurts. A lot.
Worst of all, they don’t realise it. Even if you tell them.
And I am trying my hardest not to spark off something else. It’s so damn hard.
the heart that will not harden
I remember you once told me not to limit my choices. “The forest is full of trees”, you said. And it’s true. But I do wonder, did you ever consider the fact that the choices could limit me?
There are too many things to be able to decide with confidence. I find myself doubting my words, actions, intentions. So many times I make a move just to make someone else happy, but I keep sinking further and further into despair. And I tell myself over and over and over not to message this person, not to talk to that person, but in the end I still do. Cause I can’t live without them.
There is nothing I would like more right now, then to sit down with you and talk. Just talk about us, school, life, anything and everything under the sun, like we used to do. I miss the magic in your voice, the magic in your words, the magic in your laugh.
I want to tell you how I feel, what I’m thinking. But the thought that you might ignore me, leave me to flounder, it scares me more than I am willing to admit.
Maybe one day I will work up the courage. But right now, I’m still lost in that forest of trees.
But why did you wait until now to tell me? Make me want to cry before Physics.
Actually, doesn’t matter cause I’ll probably cry during and after anyway.
Missing you.
